i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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