she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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