This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
