walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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