I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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