Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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