are you still at the devil's house?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
