Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
