I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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