is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it was like eating out sand paper
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
