you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
