D3 body, D1 cock
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
