just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
