Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize