I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
