I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
