chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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