I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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