I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
