So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
wow bdsm is so cute
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
