Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
