Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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