butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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