she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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