What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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