you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
