This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
