you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
