True but thats because hes a fetus.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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