Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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