Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
