It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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