So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
