She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
