He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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