She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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