I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
