Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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