I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
