And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
