haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
