I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
