Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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