Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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