I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
