Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
