In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
as a side note pls kill me
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
