Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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