Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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