He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
