from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
