just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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