sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
