Apparently you make a good broom.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
