Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
