dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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