I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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