i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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