some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He did a backflip because drugs
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