Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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