I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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