i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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