id be glad to
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
