You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We're too hungover to prance.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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