I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Found your dick twin last night
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
