Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
