he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
