Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
