Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
