dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize