My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
