yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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