I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
