Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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